Stephen Colbert
(1964-)

birthdate: May 13
birthplace:
Charlestown, South Carolina

QUOTES

This is a crucial time in the fight for corporate civil rights. Just look at the hateful signs at Occupy Wallstreet: 'Corporations Are Not People!' Wow, I thought we were past the point in this country where some people aren't people just because they have different color skin or different religion or were born in a lawyer's office, only exist on paper, have no soul and can never die.

“Let freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.

Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands ...(Just A Giant Middle Finger)...

How many pundits does it take to change the world? Three. Me, myself, and I.

“Jon always said 'The Daily Show' has no political impact, ... We're going to go ahead and pick up that gauntlet and change the world!”

"Fox News gives you both sides of every story -- the President’s side and the Vice President’s side."

"You should spend more time with your families, write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know -- fiction."

“In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant, ... One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'”

We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' And reality has a well known liberal bias.

We Americans are like the DMV. We look over the application and decide if Congress is allowed back on the road. And because this is a renewal, Congress doesn’t have to go through the rigmarole of a road test and a booklet and answering our questions about the rationale for war.

This is a crisis, Nation. Need I remind you, if the democrats take control of congress, democrats will be in control of congress. I used to think that was a myth, like global warming.

 

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